by Rich Albright
Yielding to Win
The more you allow yourself to be influenced by your spouse, the more capacity you have to influence them. Accepting influence does not mean simply collapsing into whatever your spouse wants. It does mean being open to your spouse’s ideas and being willing to change your perspective as you learn more about how they feel and why.
Lab data has revealed that men who allowed their spouses to influence them had happier marriages over time and were significantly less likely to divorce than those who resisted the influence of their wives. In fact, men who refused to share power and decision-making with their spouses had an 81% chance of divorcing.
Ironically, when you can’t be moved or influenced, you lose all power in a relationship. If you won’t accept influence because you don’t want to give up power or control, you simply become an obstacle that your spouse is going to circumvent. Then you are powerless; you have no influence.
The only way to become powerful in a relationship is to be capable of accepting influence. That means that you treat the other person, their needs, emotions, and dreams, with honor and respect. You are willing to see things from their point of view. You are willing to be flexible in certain areas to accommodate their needs and dreams. This has enormous implications for how ready they will be to listen to your point of view and to accommodate your needs and dreams.
Next week: Collaborative Gain - Toward True Compromise
Lab data has revealed that men who allowed their spouses to influence them had happier marriages over time and were significantly less likely to divorce than those who resisted the influence of their wives. In fact, men who refused to share power and decision-making with their spouses had an 81% chance of divorcing.
Ironically, when you can’t be moved or influenced, you lose all power in a relationship. If you won’t accept influence because you don’t want to give up power or control, you simply become an obstacle that your spouse is going to circumvent. Then you are powerless; you have no influence.
The only way to become powerful in a relationship is to be capable of accepting influence. That means that you treat the other person, their needs, emotions, and dreams, with honor and respect. You are willing to see things from their point of view. You are willing to be flexible in certain areas to accommodate their needs and dreams. This has enormous implications for how ready they will be to listen to your point of view and to accommodate your needs and dreams.
Next week: Collaborative Gain - Toward True Compromise