by Rich Albright
The Reasons Why We Fight – Part 1
Opposites attract - this is scientifically accurate.
A Swiss zoologist, Klaus Wedekind, recruited 50 men and 50 women for his study on attraction.
The men were given clean T-shirts, went home, and slept in them for 2 nights. They returned the unwashed shirts to the lab. Each woman was given an array of 7 different shirts to smell. (Would you sign up for this study?)
As the women took a whiff of each shirt, they were asked to describe each T-shirt in terms of “pleasantness, intensity, and sexiness.” They were also asked which T-shirt they found most appealing overall (Ew!). Overwhelmingly, the women preferred the scent of the shirts worn by men whose gene sequence was most different than their own.
So, we are programmed to be attracted to someone very different from us. In fact, personality differences account for the majority of couples’ conflicts. As stated previously, 69% of our conflicts are perpetual (not solvable), and perpetual problems usually are derived from personality differences and lifestyle preferences. Therefore, the more couples can be accepting of each other’s differences, the better. Often, we try to change our spouses into ourselves, and then we criticize them when that doesn’t work. As you might have guessed, that is a huge mistake!
Next week: The Reasons Why We Fight - Part 2
A Swiss zoologist, Klaus Wedekind, recruited 50 men and 50 women for his study on attraction.
The men were given clean T-shirts, went home, and slept in them for 2 nights. They returned the unwashed shirts to the lab. Each woman was given an array of 7 different shirts to smell. (Would you sign up for this study?)
As the women took a whiff of each shirt, they were asked to describe each T-shirt in terms of “pleasantness, intensity, and sexiness.” They were also asked which T-shirt they found most appealing overall (Ew!). Overwhelmingly, the women preferred the scent of the shirts worn by men whose gene sequence was most different than their own.
So, we are programmed to be attracted to someone very different from us. In fact, personality differences account for the majority of couples’ conflicts. As stated previously, 69% of our conflicts are perpetual (not solvable), and perpetual problems usually are derived from personality differences and lifestyle preferences. Therefore, the more couples can be accepting of each other’s differences, the better. Often, we try to change our spouses into ourselves, and then we criticize them when that doesn’t work. As you might have guessed, that is a huge mistake!
Next week: The Reasons Why We Fight - Part 2