by Rich Albright

Researcher John Gottman has identified four particularly destructive behaviors that are toxic to marriages.  He has nicknamed them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a reference to the Four Horsemen named in Revelation, which are a sign of the end times.  In the Bible, these Horsemen represent death, famine, war, and conquest.  In marriage, these represent criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.

Criticism is defined as stating your complaint as a defect in your spouse’s personality.  Example: You always talk about yourself.  You are so selfish.

Defensiveness is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood.  Example: It’s not my fault we’re always late.  You’ll be late to your own funeral.

Contempt is defined as negative statements that originate from a position of superiority.  Example: You are such a moron!

Stonewalling is defined as emotional withdrawal from interaction.  Example: Leaving the room while your spouse is attempting to communicate with you.

If you have figured out that these four behaviors may be linked with the end times for a marriage, you might just be right.
Join us next week to find out!

Please connect with me if this seems significant.