by Rich Albright
Living Up To Expectations - The Solution
Last week we investigated how unmet expectations can damage an otherwise healthy marriage. This week we dig into the solution to unmet expectations.
The unfortunate answer is that the solution may seem a little callous or cold. Love is a decision you choose to make rather than a feeling or an emotion. It is a commitment to honor your vows and to honor God.
In Matthew 22, Jesus named the greatest in the Law by saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
There it is! What do you do when you marry the “wrong” man or woman? You love God and you love your spouse as well as you love yourself.
From author Amber Lia: I know that God tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But the moment I start trying to be my husband’s conscience and remind him of that because I don’t think he is doting on me enough, speaking my love language, prioritizing the way I do things, leading like I want him to, or being Mr. Right in whatever capacity that looks like, then I am focusing on the wrong thing. And our marriage will suffer for it.
I can spend my time grieving what I don’t have, or I can spend time worshipping a God who loves me unconditionally and sent his Son to die for me on the cross. I can bemoan that my spouse doesn’t love me like that and wallow in guilt about my own self-centeredness. Or I can rejoice that God’s love for us is perfect and honor him by focusing on the way my spouse loves me.
Spend your time loving God and loving others. Start with your spouse.
Next week: When the House Is a Mess - The Problem
The unfortunate answer is that the solution may seem a little callous or cold. Love is a decision you choose to make rather than a feeling or an emotion. It is a commitment to honor your vows and to honor God.
In Matthew 22, Jesus named the greatest in the Law by saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like unto it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
There it is! What do you do when you marry the “wrong” man or woman? You love God and you love your spouse as well as you love yourself.
From author Amber Lia: I know that God tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But the moment I start trying to be my husband’s conscience and remind him of that because I don’t think he is doting on me enough, speaking my love language, prioritizing the way I do things, leading like I want him to, or being Mr. Right in whatever capacity that looks like, then I am focusing on the wrong thing. And our marriage will suffer for it.
I can spend my time grieving what I don’t have, or I can spend time worshipping a God who loves me unconditionally and sent his Son to die for me on the cross. I can bemoan that my spouse doesn’t love me like that and wallow in guilt about my own self-centeredness. Or I can rejoice that God’s love for us is perfect and honor him by focusing on the way my spouse loves me.
Spend your time loving God and loving others. Start with your spouse.
Next week: When the House Is a Mess - The Problem