by Rich Albright
When In-Laws Cause Friction - The Problem
Consider this scenario:
Mom and Dad, normally loving people, don’t connect well with a new son-in-law or daughter-in-law. They are not unkind. They simply keep the new family member at arm’s length. Soon siblings begin avoiding the new family member. Often, the tensions within the family cause hurtful marital triggers.
In other cases, in-laws demand too much involvement and want to interject themselves into every little decision a couple makes for their family. Mothers-in-law can become too involved or too critical. Fathers-in-law can be too demanding. Sometimes, in-laws disrespect the wishes of sons and daughters regarding how to treat grandchildren - spoiling them or treating them too harshly.
Each of these circumstances has the potential to create a deep wedge between spouses.
How is this best prevented? Historically, new couples would often leave their families for a year or more, in order to eliminate any interference. “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid upon him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” Deuteronomy 24:5
Note who he is to be pleasing (his wife) and who is not mentioned (in-laws). It is important to focus on who God establishes as the priority!
Next week - When In-Laws Cause Friction - The Solution
Mom and Dad, normally loving people, don’t connect well with a new son-in-law or daughter-in-law. They are not unkind. They simply keep the new family member at arm’s length. Soon siblings begin avoiding the new family member. Often, the tensions within the family cause hurtful marital triggers.
In other cases, in-laws demand too much involvement and want to interject themselves into every little decision a couple makes for their family. Mothers-in-law can become too involved or too critical. Fathers-in-law can be too demanding. Sometimes, in-laws disrespect the wishes of sons and daughters regarding how to treat grandchildren - spoiling them or treating them too harshly.
Each of these circumstances has the potential to create a deep wedge between spouses.
How is this best prevented? Historically, new couples would often leave their families for a year or more, in order to eliminate any interference. “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid upon him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married.” Deuteronomy 24:5
Note who he is to be pleasing (his wife) and who is not mentioned (in-laws). It is important to focus on who God establishes as the priority!
Next week - When In-Laws Cause Friction - The Solution